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Wednesday, May 22, 2024

The Narcissist Way

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Lisa Zarcone
Lisa Zarconehttps://www.lisazarcone.net
Regional Director for New England AREA/ NAASCA Ambassador (MA) - 2021 Heroine Award Recipient (MA)-Child & Mental Health Advocate -Public Speaker-Author-Blogger-Podcast Enthusiast- Radio Personality

How to Move Forward When You Have Been Blinded!

Narcissist – Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a mental health condition in which people have an unreasonably high sense of their own importance. They need and seek too much attention and want people to admire them. People with this disorder may lack the ability to understand or care about the feelings of others.

There it is the description of a narcissist! As this is a mental health issue, the damage runs even deeper than the description. As the person who is struggling lashes out at all the people around them, that is when the abuse happens. Living with someone who has this disorder can be impossible, as they consume every ounce of your being. 

Children living with a narcissistic parent/guardian, grow up with a multitude of internal struggles and issues. If they are not addressed properly, the pattern of abuse continues to happen. The cycle lives on, and it becomes generational.

As an adult in a relationship with a Narcissist; it can become deadly. The abuser slowly beats down their companion to a place of a clouded existence. They always have a game plan to gain the upper hand and ultimate control, in a completely dysfunctional environment. This is where the narcissist thrives, and feels almighty and powerful. The victim succumbs to the abuse, and becomes the enabler in a game of cat and mouse. 

This pattern of abuse will continue on for years if not stopped. The abuse that starts out as verbal and emotional, ultimately becomes physical! The worst-case scenario is “death by a narcissist”. After they take your identity, dignity and self-worth, some go to the ultimate extreme. They take a life.

Ask yourself this question – If you were in a relationship like this how much would you be willing to take? That is a very loaded question, because once the abuse takes hold you do not have clarity any more.

What about the narcissist is there any hope for them? That answer comes with a mixed bag of reviews.

If the person who is struggling mentally does not get the help that they need (therapy, medications, etc.), they will never change their ways. It is so far imbedded into them, and they do not see the reality of what is happening. They may have moments of stating, “Yes, I have an issue that needs to be addressed” to “You are the problem, not me”. There is no balance. You cannot rationalize with a narcissist.

So, what do you do? I have to say the answer I hear most often is “RUN”, as fast as you can, or you may not make it out alive.

POWERFUL! We, must look at our relationships in our lives, and if they are negative, hurtful or dysfunctional, we must make the decision to help ourselves, and cut ties. This can be a long and painful process, but one that is necessary to save yourself from further trauma, abuse and heartache.

Self-work and self-care are a must to overcome and heal from such horrific situations.

Do you have a narcissist in your life? If so, what are you going to do about it?

Food for thought!

THE NARCISSISTS WAY

I am beaten and broken by the words placed upon me as the voice of detest rolls

Across your lips branding me with darkness.

Those words that you spew repeatedly keeping me in my place afraid to move forward

Frozen in time doing the dance of a puppet you being the puppet master, me being lost

In this natural disaster of what is to be a relationship controlled by you the ultimate Master.

Sly and sleek you have slithered on in unsuspecting cultivating my sin. My mighty savior you claim to be but control is the dirty reality.   The words of comfort start out nice but like a light switch it has turned to fright as you come in like a thief in the night gaining control no end in sight.

In the blink of an eye, you turned on me making it seem as if I’m crazy. With the rhythm and rhyme of your twisted words you make sure that I am never heard.  What a calculating game you play planning out each move every step of the way.   How was I so blind that I could not see the evil villain standing in front of me.

He played on my weakness, my tainted soul picking me out of my pool of defeat, then beating me down like 

A slug on the street.

How did I get here, why is it me do I have a label your entry is free…?  Free to kick me when I was down, and dragging my lost carcass across the ground to that very place where I rest my head, am I better off dead?

It’s time to change the name of this game turn the tables on the narcissist way, fighting back for the very first time handing you back your rhythm and rhyme!   I will emerge from the ashes of disaster and spew your words my own puppet master!

I am claiming my rights once and for all and nothing gives me more pleasure than to see you fall.  Drop to your knees and beg for your rights and see how it is to deal with that Thief in the night.

Time for me to take my personal flight onto freedom as it is my right!

Lisa Zarcone

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